Solo travel looks confident and carefree on social media. But behind every beautiful sunrise clip and café moment is a very real human experience. Fear. Growth. Loneliness. Courage. Learning.
In this “Ask Phoebe” Q&A, I’m answering your most honest solo travel questions, the ones you might be too shy to say out loud. If you’re thinking about booking your first solo trip, this is for you.
Phoebe, I really want to try solo travel, but I’m honestly scared… how did you get the courage to go alone the first time?
I was terrified to travel solo! I was struggling with bad anxiety and was scared I wouldn’t be able to handle travelling by myself. I was convinced something bad would happen to me, that I’d fail and have to come back home. All of the fear I had is exactly why I forced myself to do it, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
I just took it one moment, one day at a time and slowly but surely, I realised all my fears were just projections, not reality. Each time something challenging happened, I learned I could trust myself. Now, I know there’s nothing I can’t handle!
Do you ever get lonely when you’re travelling by yourself, or does it actually feel freeing as it looks in your videos?
Of course! There are some days you’re exhausted mentally and physically, maybe you’ve been on a really big travel day, or you’ve been by yourself for multiple days in a row, you get back to your hotel, and you’re just… lonely. It happens! It’s not a bad thing or something to fear, and, honestly, I’ve felt lonely in crowded rooms before, too.
What’s your #1 safety rule when you arrive somewhere new on a solo trip?
One of my best friends bought me a door alarm, which gives me peace of mind. If I’m arriving somewhere new on a solo trip, I’ll usually pre-book an airport transfer to the hotel and have the driver do a meet and greet at the arrivals hall.
If I only have a small amount of travel experience, is it still okay to start travelling solo, or should I build up slowly?
There’s no right, wrong or ‘better’ way to go about it! I’m the kind of person who likes to dive right in and fully commit to something, so that strategy worked for me, but if you’d rather ease into it with shorter trips and slowly build up your confidence, that’s okay too. What matters most is that you’re prioritising solo travel and going for it! Be proud of yourself!
How do you film yourself in public without feeling awkward? I always worry that people are judging me.
People who have been watching my channel for a long time know I struggled with this! I overcame the fear by just doing it over and over and over again. Kind of like immersion therapy!
I’ve had people say some really nasty things to me when I’m filming by myself, and it has hurt my feelings and made me feel pretty bad about myself. But I kept doing it anyway and, now, I don’t care! It doesn’t feel good if someone says something or gives me a dirty look but I’m not going to change my life, stop travelling and stop doing this thing I love just because a stranger said something nasty.
People will definitely judge you at some point, but you’ll be amazed by how many people think it’s awesome! They’ll cheer you on, support you, tell you they think what you’re doing is amazing and be so cool about it. Honestly, that love and kindness outshine everything else, even your own fear.
Have you ever had a moment on a solo trip where you thought, “Okay… this was a bad idea”? What did you do?
Soooo many times! I’ve booked super cheap flights at awful hours and regretted it. Booked tours that took me to terrible places, like in Dubai, and hated it! The worst one was when I went to India and booked what was made to seem like a ‘group’ tour, but ended up being just me. I was scammed and harassed repeatedly – so many bad things happened on that trip, and I was terrified for my life!
Now, I know I can leave any situation. I have the money to get out of there. Whether that’s calling an Uber or booking a flight, I can get myself out of a place immediately, and I give myself full permission to leave anywhere at any time. I try not to judge or blame myself and just make sure I learn from every experience so I know what to do next time.
When you travel alone, do you usually book tours to meet people, or do you prefer exploring completely solo?
I like a mix of both! I’m introverted by nature and can quite happily spend a lot of time alone, but sometimes I want to experience a place with other people, like when I went to South America for the first time. A group tour just made sense, and it was so much fun!
What do you personally do on nights when you’re alone in a new city and don’t feel like going out?
I just stay in! I’ll treat myself to a cosy night at the hotel where I’ll order room service or delivery/takeout, have an everything shower, pop on a face mask and watch movies in bed.
How do you stay confident walking into restaurants or activities alone? That part makes me the most nervous!
I used to be nervous about it and embarrassed to be there alone, but now I don’t care in the slightest. It really is as simple as immersing yourself in the thing you fear! Just keep doing it over and over until your nervous system registers the experience as safe. And, remember, nobody can tell how you feel inside, so just smile, walk confidently, move calmly and slowly, and nobody will be any the wiser.
If someone watching your channel is about to book their first solo trip today, what’s one thing you’d want them to remember before they go?
You don’t have to be free of fear to travel solo. Do it scared! Do it because you’re scared. Trust me, you will see such a transformation in every single aspect of your life once you learn you can trust yourself, and nothing will help you get to that place quite like solo travel does.
Stay tuned! I’ll be back soon with another Q&A series to answer even more travel questions and share honest advice. Follow my blog, Travel For Phoebe, subscribe to my YouTube channel, and don’t forget to comment your questions so I can answer them in the next series!